It almost seems like a platitude to say that trust is the foundation of every successful team. Plenty has been written about it by people who have studied trust – Patrick Lencioni, 5 Dysfunctions of a Team; Stephen MR Covey, The Speed of Trust; John Blakey, The Trusted Executive are three that I recommend.
When I was much younger, my dad said to me one day
Sonia, you’re going to get hit over the head a lot in your life.
I was a little puzzled by this. He was saying it with a lot of love and a good dose of frustration and fear.
“Why?” was my response (I still ask why a lot! Although I now have other less annoying ways of asking that question…)
Because you trust too much…
Quite a few years on now and I licensed in the Hogan Inventory and low and behold, there it was again! Sonia are you too trusting?
So although I like to think of myself as a lifelong learner, is this something that I’m just not learning??
Actually, it’s not. It started out as something I just did and didn’t really think about, but as I’ve grown, it’s become a choice. Let me tell you why…
For me, I have found many more benefits from trusting first than disadvantages. And the odd times when my trust isn’t returned or valued or even taken advantage of, is nothing in comparison to the relationships that I’ve been able to build over the years, the people that are still in touch with me years after we got to work together, and the times that my trust is returned and rewarded.
I know that at the core of every successful team I have built or managed is my value of trust, which is enveloped in values of compassion, kindness, forgiveness and fun! And the belief that enables me to do all this is a very solid belief in positive intention – we all have positive intention for ourselves at least.
Now this doesn’t mean that this is the only way to do trust or the right way to do trust. I also believe that trust is a very personal thing, and something that we all need to find our way to do. One disadvantage of giving trust first is that it can be fragile. One thing goes wrong, and it can be hard to rebuild that trust. I’ve had to work on forgiveness and that belief of positive intention for ourselves, to strengthen it.
Two other ways to do trust are:
Trust over time
Some people just need time. Once that certain amount of time has elapsed and the person has not let them down in any way, then they trust. The advantage of this is that there’s a sense of having a relationship built over time and that the trust grows. If something goes wrong, it seems to be that people can forgive or overlook it more easily as this trust has some roots.
Trust over number of times
Thirdly, but by no means least, there are people who will give trust once they have seen or experienced someone deliver something or show up in a particular way, a number of times. For example, deliver on time and to the quality that I want on three consecutive projects and then I trust you. Again, this way to do trust also has roots in the form of tangible examples.
Which way do you do trust? Is it one or a combination? What are the advantages for you of doing it this way?
I really would love to know, so please leave a comment. Promise I read all of them!
