If there is one thing that helped me develop my skills as a leader and a coach, it was this one word – curiosity. Here are some of the things it helps me do:
Suspending judgement
Staying in curiosity helps me suspend judgement. If I remain curious about not only what someone is saying or doing, but about why they are saying or doing it, in order to understand their point of view, their map of the world and their reality, then there can be no judgement. Things will either be the same, similar or different and always interesting.
Avoid assumptions
We are built to make assumptions. Assumptions is how we anticipate problems and dangers and how we make meaning. The problem comes when we believe our assumptions to be true. Curiosity helps me state my assumptions as just that and ask if there is any truth behind them. Why? Because I’m curious about whether my assumptions are correct or not!
Avoid making decisions based only on my way of seeing things
Checking my assumptions is one way to avoid this, but curiosity is another. A client of mine had a difficult problem to resolve in her team. One of her team had approached her about being bullied but didn’t want to make it formal. The person who was potentially showing bullying behaviour was someone who was in line for a promotion and there was a lot of evidence about the bullying behaviour. My client concluded that she had to persuade her staff member to make it formal but was worried that this wouldn’t be possible. So, we spoke about it from a curiosity point of view. What if she remained curious about her direct report? What was going on for him that made it impossible to lodge a formal complaint? What did he really want and need? How could she help him get what he wanted and needed? Staying curious about what was happening for her direct report, lead to different conversations and different solutions, which they came to together.
What else could be true?
A wonderful question that has unblocked many a team member and many a client! This question is all about curiosity and about permission. The permission to imagine something else without fear of being wrong, without the need to be right. And when we let go of the fear of being wrong and the need to be right, that’s when our imagination can come out to play and our creativity can bloom.
How else can you use your curiosity? What can you do to enable it more often? Let me know in the comments
