What do you think?
This is one of those questions that has plagued me my entire career…
As a girl, I was regularly ‘disliked’ for having strong opinions, speaking my mind, and doing so with passion and conviction. I tried to tone it down and became miserable, so I made the choice to handle the criticism and not be liked instead.
Then in later years, it’s been less of a problem. Why? Because I have more carefully chosen the company I keep. I’ve found people (men and women) who like me precisely because of my strong opinions and my ability to speak my mind.
But why is it difficult for women to be powerful and liked and for men to be sensitive and liked? What is it that keeps these outdated societal norms alive and kicking?
The other day on a popular show in the UK called Strictly Come Dancing, singer and presenter Fleur East found herself in the dance-off despite having good scores and comments from the judges (2 couples who get the least number of votes from the public have to dance against each other and the judges pick the best couple to stay in the competition for another week.) One of the judges commented, “Maybe we’re just not used to seeing a powerful woman dance!”
As humans, we have evolved in a way that has created roles that have worked for us in terms of the survival of our race. Women bear children and look after they and men provide for their families and protect them.
This isn’t the case across the whole animal kingdom – elephants for example have the females lead the herd and the males either lead solitary lives or join herds of other bulls.
So why am I telling you this?
Well because most significant changes in our makeup occur when there is a need to change or evolve or die. When it is crucial to our survival. And for now, a change in our roles in society is not crucial to our survival.
Does this mean it’s impossible? No. But it does mean that it’s hard and that we need to work at it individually and collectively to make these changes happen.
We are fighting our own stereotypes which have kept us comfortable for a long time.
So in order to accept different stereotypes – ambitious powerful women; sensitive compassionate men – we have to somehow make it critical to our survival and evolution.
We also have to be able to hold polarities in our minds…
A woman can be ambitious, powerful, strong, tough AND sensitive, kind, compassionate, and collaborative… as can men!
But more on that another time…
What do you think stops us from accepting and liking powerful women?
Video you might like:
Was this helpful? Let me know by commenting on your biggest takeaway below.
Let’s connect on Linkedin and subscribe to our Youtube.
Speak soon,
Sonia xx
