There’s a discovery that I’m making in my coaching lately which has me both worried and excited at the same time.
What is it?
It’s the number of female leaders I am coaching who seem to be “secretly ambitious”
What does this mean?
This means that on the inside, buried so deep that they don’t even admit it to themselves, they have ambitions of reaching the C-Suite and making more of a difference from there.
Why does this worry me?
Because if it’s a secret it’s unlikely to happen and if it doesn’t happen, we will struggle to change from a model of leadership that is no longer fit for purpose to one that will help us all thrive in a world that needs more than ever, connection, collaboration, compassion, care, and love.
Why does it excite me?
Because these women exist and if we can coax them out in the open, owning their ambition, we give change a chance.
So what is it that keeps this ambition secret?
Well, there are lots of reasons, I’m sure. But the main one that I’ve discovered is that they don’t want to be like their current boss! And this means that they don’t want what they are seeing, the life their boss leads, the priorities their boss has, and the decisions in their lives that they are making. They want to have a good career that enables them to make a difference AND they want a family life, a life with friends, a life with fun and adventure that doesn’t revolve around work. But the role models they have generally, don’t seem able to do this. So they decide to choose less of a career, making less of a difference in terms of their role in order to focus on other things.
So what changes their mind?
Their minds change when they understand that there is no need to have their boss’ life in order to be successful in their careers. They can have a life, they can choose family AND a great career by doing it their way. And this becomes possible when they get clear on what their priorities are and understand that priorities are contextual, so they change over time. The trick is to spot the change that’s coming and prepare to take different actions. They can then set rules and boundaries around work and everything else and they start to understand some of the first steps to do this.
So where are you on this issue? Are you secretly ambitious? Are you dialing down your ambition in some way? What’s getting in the way for you? Do let me know in the comments.
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Speak soon,
Sonia xx
