Are you wondering if you want that top job?
Are you wondering if you really want to get to the top of your organisation, and be a part of that team?
Is what’s making you wonder, the thought that you don’t like what you see at the top of the organisation?
That you don’t like the role models there?
That they’re not you?
And that, if you want to go for those roles, then you somehow need to fit in, and fit in to what’s expected of you in that position?
And does that, in a way, make you feel that you just don’t belong?
And belonging is such a strong feeling and such a strong desire for us as human beings. So looking at that spot and looking at that team and thinking that’s not me, makes it really hard because:
What if you want to make the difference that you can make at that level of an organisation?
What if you want to be involved in the discussions and the opportunities and the decisions at that level of an organisation?
What if the impact that you want to make lies there?
And yet you don’t feel that that organisation or that that position in the organisation is really for you…
Brené Brown, who has studied belonging, amongst other things, says that “true belonging is the spiritual practice of believing in and belonging to yourself so deeply that you can share your most authentic self with the world, and find sacredness in both being a part of something and standing alone in the wilderness. True belonging doesn’t require you to change who you are. It requires you to be who you are. “
She says that fitting in is basically become who you need to be to be accepted. But belonging means to be who you are.
So what if you could reach those levels of the organisation? What if you could become the CEO, the chairman the top person in the organisation, have the impact that you want to have, make the difference that you want to make, be in the conversations that you want to be, be able to influence the agenda that you want to influence, AND be who you are, at the same time?
What if you could, rather than make a choice to fit in, make a choice to be who you are, and still do those things that are required at the top level. And they’re not mutually exclusive.
You don’t have to be anyone else.
And you can still take the actions that are needed.
I’m really passionate about changing some of the role models that we have nowadays – leadership role models that are still about power and still about control, still top down. And who knows, maybe you being who you are, will change that level will change the role models, maybe you can become a different role model for future generations.
So, when it comes to belonging in Brené’s research. she found that the opposite of belonging, was fitting in. So when it comes to belonging, just be who you are. Be authentic. Be your own imperfect self, be vulnerable. But above all, be yourself.
