So in my previous post I spoke about three key skills every leader today, must develop:
Curiosity, Intent and Compassion.
So let me share with you what I mean by curiosity, how you can practice it and how you will know that you are truly developing this skill.
WHAT IS CURIOSITY AND WHY SHOULD WE DEVELOP IT?
One of the dictionary definitions is “desire to know or learn”, another is “a motivated desire for information”. Sometimes this desire is seen as negative, as in being nosey, wanting to know too much, wanting to know about things that are private to someone and hence the saying “curiosity killed the cat”.
I want us to focus on curiosity as positive, as a desire to know more in order to understand more, in order to effect positive change, in order to broaden our outlook, what we each may define as our reality.
Babies are born curious and when they grow into young children with the ability to speak, one of the first questions that come out is “But why?” For those of you with children, I am sure you have had the experience of being asked this question time and time again and if you are anything like me, have even been irritated by it and maybe even finally answered with “Because!” And that’s ok, there are lessons for our children to learn there, however, how can we all become more tolerant of that question and how can we make sure that we actually encourage curiosity throughout our children’s’ lives? And how do we take that into adulthood and into our leadership behaviours?
And now YOU could ask “But why?”
Curiosity, the desire to understand, to know, to learn is key for a number of things:
Innovation – new ideas, concepts, solutions to problems big and small, all start with someone getting curious about what else could be true, what could we do differently, what could be a solution. And this requires a certain amount of energy and willingness to then get into action. Take the retail industry for example. Organisations such as Amazon continue to disrupt the retail landscape and those organisations such as the high street department stores are dying on their feet. Have the leaders of those organisations been curious enough about their industry? About their brands? About what else could be possible?
Conflict resolution– when you truly seek to understand another point of view, when you seek to understand what is behind that point of view, how the person got to believe what they do and what that belief does for them in a positive sense, then it becomes more difficult to sustain a conflict. You can effectively agree to disagree but with more understanding and compassion (which we will look at in another post)
Less pressure to know the answers – many leaders believe that when asked a question or faced with an issue, they need to know the answers. A true sense of curiosity can save you here. Asking great questions of others with true curiosity, meaning that you are looking to learn and enable others to do so also, is the skill you are in most need of. Everyone will learn including you, it opens up possibility for people to volunteer what they do know and also speak up about what they don’t know. As a leader you set the example. Being secure in your not knowing whilst showing with your questions that you are keen to find out, will enable those around you to do the same. Which in turn leads to more cooperation, collaboration, safety and therefore trust.
HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE PRACTISING AND MASTERING CURIOSITY?
Although I haven’t stated it above, there are two key components to curiosity:
- Mindset
- Powerful questions
For curiosity to be sincere and come across as such, you have to be truly interested in knowing why someone might think the way they do, in a solution to a problem, in different options, experiences, etc. If the interest is sincere, then you will appear curious and will invite participation. One of the things I used to do when I first started coaching, was literally write the word CURIOSITY at the top of my page where I would be taking notes, as a reminder to be truly curious about not only what my client might be saying, but also how there were saying it. You must cultivate a belief that everyone does something for a reason, and that that reason is not designed to hurt them in any way – it is the “law of positive intent”.
Once you have the mindset, then it is about learning to ask questions that are designed for learning – your learning and that of those in the conversation.
I guess there is a third aspect missing – listening. Listening is a skill that has to be practiced too and in another post, I will go into the different levels of listening. For now, just practice listening with curiosity, with a desire to really learn more.
Once you start doing these things, you will notice that:
- People want to talk with you more
- People want to share their knowledge, their experience but critically, their questions with you
- When you are asked for your view, you will feel just as happy asking more questions and you will be thanked and appreciated for it.
- You will have more ideas – innovation will no longer be something that is hard, but something that is more natural, as your curiosity and your questions lead to more options
- Those you work with will feel more empowered as your curiosity and your questions enhances their learning and their perception that they can do moreThose around you will feel more engaged as they are valued for their knowledge and their questions and ability to look beyond what they are certain about.
- You will create more engagement, collaboration and trust.
What else can you add to this list?
How will you know that you have developed this skill?
In my next post we will be looking at Intent – what are your thoughts on intent?
Please do comment below and ask any questions you may have – let’s start being more curious!
