It’s been a month of successes for a few of my clients. For one client, a promotion realised, after worrying for a while that she’d reached the end of her career. Having been in the role she wanted since college, it never dawned on her that there could be more.
Another client got the role that is the stepping stone to the role of her dreams. The company she wanted, the location she wanted and soon it will be the role she dreamed of.
And I have two more who are interviewing at the moment for the next stage in their careers. It’s been a good month for moving forward.
Something has struck me in the conversations I’ve had with all these women, but particularly the ones who are now in the new posts.
These are senior women, women who are looked up to by others in their organisation. And yet, before starting their new roles, these questions came up for them:
- Will I be good enough?
- What if I don’t fit in?
- What if I can’t handle it?
- What if I don’t make an impact quickly enough?
And more like this…. Ever asked yourself these questions? Or something similar?
The Wizard of Oz
And the other thing that’s struck me is how when they have started their new roles, got into meetings with their new stakeholders and started working with their new teams, they’ve realised and spoken about how these people they looked up to before, from their previous roles, are actually concerned with the same things (albeit at a less detailed level) as people around them before. These new stakeholders arrive with similar questions, insecurities, good habits and bad habits, strengths and weaknesses.
One of my clients likened it to meeting the Wizard from the Wizard of Oz. When you actually meet the wizard in real life, he’s not as imposing or as frightening as he sounded before.
People are still always people
Now, please don’t get me wrong, bigger posts in organisations come with bigger responsibilities. If you decide to run your own business, you are ultimately responsible too. But that doesn’t mean that people aren’t just people when they get a bigger role or become business owners. We are all still people, we are human beings. And human beings are emotional beings. We are built to protect ourselves from danger. And although we don’t have actual saber-toothed tigers running around, all the questions above are about fears, are about potential danger, danger of rejection, or failure and more.
Fears get bigger when you’re on your own
What has helped all of my clients through these times, is having a sounding board. Having someone outside of their organisation and outside of their group of friends, whose only remit is to help them clearly define where they want to get to and then help them find their way there. Someone who can point out blindspots without any other agenda. Someone qualified and experienced to do so without judgement and with great clarity.
There are a number of ways to get this support. If your organisation can give you a coach to work with that’s amazing. Make sure you have the right chemistry with your coach and commit to working with and not just chatting to your coach. Most of the work happens in between the sessions as you take away the learning and implement it.
If your organisation isn’t in a position to give you a coach, then find one for yourself who you resonate with and get clear on what you want from the relationship so that you can your coach can make the best use of the time you have together.
A one to one coaching relationship is fabulous (as a coach, I would say that!) but coaching doesn’t have to be one to one to be fabulous. The Rising Leaders’ Circle is a coaching membership where you will find weekly opportunities for coaching, monthly masterclasses, mindset sessions, the opportunity to explore your motivation and that of your team, a community of people who will support you to be your best and to face your fears, and lots more.
Join the waitlist for the Rising Leaders’ Circle here and be the first to hear when the doors open.
