Recently, I’ve had a number of coaching clients ask me this question..
Sonia, I’ve been offered a mentor in my organization, but how do I start with them? I’ve got the first meeting. What should I expect? What should I ask for?
If you’ve ever wondered what to expect from a mentor and how to handle the relationship, read until the end and find out.
Today I want to help you get clear on what to expect from a mentor, mentee relationship and how to get what you need from that relationship.
First, what is a mentor?
A mentor is a person who’s achieved what it is that you want to achieve next or a few steps down the line, and who’s going to be able to show you how they got there.
This could be your line manager, someone who’s more senior in the organization, or it could be somebody more senior or with more experience outside of your organization.
There are three important points that you need to make sure you have in any mentor:
1. They have achieved what it is that you want to achieve and can show you how they’ve done it too.
2. They are ready and willing to show you how they did it.
3. They are ready and willing to support you on your journey.
When choosing a mentor, you need to look out for those three points, but not totally from the standpoint of what they’ve achieved. I would argue that it’s just as important to look at how they did this. And by this, I mean, check that their values are aligned with yours, that their boundaries align in some way with yours. This will make it so much easier for you to then model their behavior and learn from that.
Have you got a mentor or are you looking for a mentor? Let me know in the comments.
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Now, when it comes to that first meeting with your mentor, go ready with questions that are going to enable you to find out all of those things that I’ve just said and make sure that this is a person that you can learn from then be ready to ask what it is that you want and that you need from the journey, including the support that they might be able to give you on your journey.
And by this, I mean, things like networking opportunities or visibility, or it may even be some projects that they could get you involved in, as well as their availability to answer questions that you might have in a confidential manner.
You see, a mentor might be able to answer some of those questions that might be difficult for your line manager to answer, or even for you to ask your manager.
Now, something to consider is that..
your mentor also needs to get something from this relationship
Most mentors will go into this with an idea and the hope that they’re going to help someone progress, but this isn’t all that they can get from the relationship.
For example, you might be able to give them a perspective of what’s going on in the business, when they’re now a little bit removed from it all. You might be able to teach your mentor new ways of doing things – we’re in an ever changing world!
Ask your mentor what it is that they want from the relationship, ask them how you could support them.
And if they don’t know, or they say they don’t know, then let them know that you’re willing to support them should they need something, and that they should just ask you.
Lastly, a question that I often get is..
“Sonia, this person is so busy. How often should I ask to speak to them?”
Well, this is something that you need to sort out in that first meeting. Second meeting at the latest if the first one’s more of a chemistry meeting to find out if you are a fit.
Time can be an issue for all of us..
In order for both mentor and mentee to get what they need from the relationship – there needs to be some structure and a cadence.
Negotiate time and ensure that there’s flexibility, but also commitment. There’s nothing worse than having either you as the mentee or the mentor, always cancel or not turn up.
I hope that these thoughts on a mentor – mentee relationship have been useful and that you’re ready to either find your first mentor or even start your first meeting.
If you have any more questions around mentors and that mentor – mentee relationship, please put them in the comments below. And I promise to answer them.
If you’re looking for support outside of your organization, I’ve got an amazing membership called
“The Rising Leader’s Circle”
which will give you coaching and mentoring in a group setting and will enable you to get support, not only from me, but also from others on a very similar journey to yourself. The doors are not ALWAYS open but we are officially opening the waitlist for our upcoming re-opening!
Try it out and I guarantee you, this will change your leadership life forever! Sign up for the waitlist here: https://bit.ly/jointhewaitlisttoday
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Thanks and speak to you soon.
Sonia xx
